Control: To trust Wintergreen
by Here4thebooks
Summary: Apprentice storyline. Robin's trapped inside the apprenticeship and feels like there is no way out. He has no control and needs to find a way to gain more power over the situation. Wintergreen confronts him about his choices and he is forceed to relinquish the only thing he has.


**Hello everyone,**

 **I reread this story and I found so many errors that I just had to rewrite parts of it to make it more cohesive.**

 **Hope you like it!**

I was curled into a ball tightly hugging my legs to my chest. My stomach plaided for food. I didn't listen to it. If my plies were never heard then why should I let others plies be heard, let alone comply. My room was dark. Too dark. Too cold. My stomach snarled, now angrily demanding food I could not grant. I wanted control, I needed it, even if it was only over what food I would eat. I didn't even choose what I got to wear, everything was chosen for me. I had no power, no control, only the control over my stomach. I can chose not to eat, I can let my stomach cry out just like I cried every night for the past 5 weeks.

I hadn't eaten in two days.

Wintergreen had begun to give me worried glances as he took my untouched food away, but Slade hadn't confronted me about it. Slade rarely joined me for dinner anymore. He never ate meals with me like a normal human being he just sat across from me staring intensively at me, which became disconcerting after about thirty seconds.

My movements had become slow in our training sessions but I think he thought it was because of the beating I had taken two days ago. He had send me to bed early because I had disappointed him during training early that day. That was what had made me stop eating. I had become crazy for control even over the smallest of things.

Maybe I should have asked him if I could go to a physiologist; that would be a laugh.

' _So tell me why you're here, Richard.'_

' _I'm being forced to work for a cruel crazy criminal who is using the lives of my friends as blackmail. I have no control over my own life and he forced me to call him_ Master!"

' _Well Richard you're not alone. Many kids your age go through the same emotional rollercoaster as you, you can clash with the people who oppose your views. You just need to accept his point of view and find even ground. '_

The thought would have made me laugh if I knew how to anymore. I loved Starfire's laugh. It was so bright and infectious you just had to laugh along with her. I missed her so much, the few times I had been allowed to see her I had to fight her to keep her safe. She hadn't laughed.

I hate my life here, and right now it's the only life I have. I don't have any hope of escaping I might as well be died. I want to die. It's the only way I can get away from him, it's the only way I can win. It's the only way he can lose and I know how he hates to lose.

Outside my room I could faintly hear footsteps coming along the concrete hallways, I was underground hidden away from the world until I was needed again for some twisted task. They grew steadily louder as they can closer to my room.

The footsteps were coming along the concrete halls closer to my cage, I was trapped; there was no escape, nowhere to hind. I was holding my breath. What if he knew about me not eating? He would be really mad that his investment wasn't up to his standards. What if he's come to beat me or whip me? I didn't think I could handle that. Not now that I was so broken and _worthless._ If Slade thought I was so worthless then why did he keep me around? Why didn't he just end me? Because he knows that's what I want and if he killed me there was no reason for his to keep the Titans round; they would die too.

Will stepped in through the steel door and closed it behind himself as if not wanting anyone to hear what he was about to say, which was weird considering the only other person in the building was Slade. He stared at me and I stared at him in silence as we both analysed each other. If I was to compare him to anyone I would have to say that he reminded me of Alfred. It was clear he didn't want me to be here but like Alfred if Slade said he wanted me to stay here then he would respect his wishes although not agreeing with them.

He wasn't a bad person, he was kind and quiet, but it was the company he kept that made him the enemy. We rarely spoke to one another, just a polite greeting every now and then. He was the one that was given the task of dressing my gaping wounds whenever I pissed Slade off, which was often.

"Hello Wintergreen, welcome to my wonderful home, what can I do for you?" It was supposed to be a snide comment but my voice was weak and rasping so it ended up sounding like a sincere question. I sounded like I had been crying, I would like to say I wasn't but Slade had warned me about what would happen if I lied.

The man just gave me this sad look, like he pitied me in my fabricated hell.

I didn't want his pity, I hated it when people feel sorry for me, like I'm some kind of charity case. Even back when my parents fall people would say how sorry they were, Vicky wouldn't shut up about it. They would always go on about it, and never really did anything to make sure I was okay, that I was safe. Except for Bruce. Bruce took me in when he didn't have to. Even though he didn't know anything about kids at least he tried, he even felt responsible for catching Zucco. He was the closest thing I would ever get to a father again and the fact that Slade showed any interest in being paternal towards me made me sick to my stomach.

"I don't need or want sympathy Wintergreen, it's just an act to get me to trust you so you can go back to Slade and tell him what he already knows: I hate him. If you really cared you would let me go because you see that I won't ever follow or trust or even like Slade," I snapped. It was a bad idea to be disrespectful to the old man, I had learnt that the hard way; Slade would always find out, but at that moment I didn't care.

"What made you think I'm pitying you, Robin?" He asked simply. He was always doing that, asking question that were stupid. It must have come from all the years working with, or for Slade, I didn't really blame him.

"I can read people, I can read you. What do you want?" I asked coldly, sliding my legs over the side of the bed.

"You haven't eaten in days, Slade is starting to notice something is wrong. I have reframed from telling him because I don't want to see you get hurt. You might think I am indifferent about you but I do care, I don't want you to get hurt, children your age shouldn't have to worry about…This." He waved his hand around vaguely.

"If you're so worried about me why don't you tell him to stop beating me up?" I yelled.

"Robin, you should know by now that Slade doesn't really listen to me, or you or anyone else. He really only ever listened to Adaline. Even if I wanted him to stop he wouldn't, he's just not that kind of man." The man confided with a chuckle.

I wanted to ask who this Adaline was it was really strange to hear that Slade would listen to this woman but I didn't want to know who she was really, she was probably dead. I didn't know how Wintergreen could stand living with him, he had established in the first week that he was here of his own free will. He had obviously become senile in his old age.

"If someone injected you with nano bots, would Slade give in to demands?" I was curious. What would the answer be, could that really determine real friendship or was it just the hero in me that couldn't see innocents, no matter who they were, getting in harm's way.

"You're changing the subject, Robin, I want you to answer my question; why haven't you been eating?" The man huffed smiling a little.

"Hey I asked first! No changing the subject," I joked cracking a small smile at the older man's indignation. "If you answer my question I'll answer yours. Deal?" I asked holding out my hand childishly wanting him to shake it.

Will glanced down at my hand, not making any move to shake it. My hand fell to my side lamely. Now the meeting just felt awkward.

"I know you hate being compared to him, but you really are alike, it really it quite chilling." He stated with a chuckle but before I could snap back something unimaginative like _I'm nothing like him!_ He continued ignoring my glare. "Alright, you want to know what I think he'd do, I think he'd ask me to forgive him and not bow to another's will. I know what you're thinking but I think I would forgive him, he's a very proud man and won't let anything tarnish his reputation as the Terminator. I know he would avenge me and that's all I could really ever ask of him." He sounded so matter a fact, like he really believed that his best friend would leave him to die rather than give up his proud and tarnish his image.

"That's where we're different; I will do anything to protect the people I love even at the cost of my own life. I swore an oath to do so; that's why I'm here, stuck in this room, forced to train with that man. That's why I stopped eating, I can't let him have me; I can't let him use me. I don't want to break my oath. I want something of my own, I may not have my life anymore but I still have my body, if I don't want to eat, I won't eat."

"Yes, well, Slade will not be happy if I tell him, I suggest you decide to start eating before I have to let him in on our secret, he won't be pleased with either of us if you pass out from exertion in the middle of training tomorrow, dinner will be in half an hour, he told me that he will be attending tonight so I suggest you eat, before I have to spend my night cleaning up your blood." The man turned to leave but I didn't want him to leave, he was actually really funny when he got flustered and the only person I had talked to in weeks who talked to me like I was a human being. I wasn't lying when I said he was a lot like Alfred.

"Wintergreen, can you stay? I just… I just want someone to talk to who doesn't treat me like dirt." I asked, I sounded like a whiny little kid, even to my own ears.

The man hesitated for a second, like he thought he would get into trouble for hanging out with me for any length of time, it was actually quite funny. I think I even smiled a bit.

"Slade has told me that if you want to confide in someone he want you to confide in him, so that you can grow closer," he said almost robotically as he turned back to face me. My smile vanished.

"I don't want to get close to him, I'll never trust him so I don't know why he bothers. I hate him, how can I trust him when he's using the life of my friends as bait to make me stay. I don't own anything anymore, not even my own life! I'm not going to give him anything more that he can use against me! I won't let it happen again!" I scream in his face falling to my knees as my legs were no longer able to support me. He didn't move or make any motion to hit me or leave, he just stood there staring down at me with pity in his eyes again. This time I think I deserve it, I really was broken, unable to be fixed, I think only my friends could help me but I would never see them as friends ever again. "I just want to talk to you, I don't know anything about you."

"Well, okay, I have to leave to check on dinner but I can stay for another minute, if you are so determined in making me stay and talk to you. But I won't be telling you anything about Slade's past or mine for that matter, that is private, I don't ask you what your secret identity so I would appreciate it if you would give Slade and I the same curtesy." Wintergreen reiterated going to sit on the lonely chair that was propped up in the corner so that if Slade wanted to come into the room to 'talk' he could sit down.

"Thank you." I said fervently sitting back on the bed. But I didn't know what to say, I could ask him about his personal life or his past with Slade. What else was there to talk about? "I don't know what to ask," then an idea come to him. "Are the Titans okay?"

Wintergreen frown at the question and I got the feeling he wasn't supposed to talk to me about my old team mates.

"They are… Going as well as can be expected. The city has been quiet for a while now, not many villains are rearing their ugly head now." Wintergreen stated coolly obviously no wanting to go into detail about my friends. "What about we talk about you, I don't know much about you, what's your favourite colour?"

It was a stupid question that a kid would ask, but I knew he was trying to be nice, not asking me something biglike _why did you leave Gotham?_

"I liked red, that's why it used to be the main colour of my uniform but now it just makes me think of blood… so much blood." I trailed off, why was everything a touchy subject? Why was I constantly on the verge of a panic attack? I didn't want to be so skittish but now I shied away from the attention. "Now I like blue I guess. What about you?" he countered trying to get the attention from him.

"Well I'm quite fond of blue, the colour of the sky, used to like red but I saw far too much blood in Vietnam to appreciate the colour anymore."

"Wow! You were in the Vietnam war?"

"Yes but now that's getting into territory that I don't want to get into," with that he got up. "Dinner is twenty minutes, Slade will be there so I suggest you eat. The door clicked shut behind him.

Nineteen minutes later he was back, no one trusted him to walk down two hallway by himself without trying to escape.

Slade greeted us in the dining room. It was a large room that had not windows, this was because most of the compound was underground. The table set in the middle of the room was ornate and large, it could probably sit twenty people. I don't why he had it, I was the only one who ever ate at the thing.

"Hello Robin."

"Hi," I said, slouching in the chair across from him. His eye narrowed dangerously. "Sir," I finished hurriedly, sitting up straighter.

"Why haven't you been eating the past few days, Robin?" my eyebrows shot up and I glanced at the door to the kitchen where Wintergreen was dishing out, he glanced back but shock his head as if to say he hadn't told him. "Robin, give me credit, I may not have the title of the 'World's Greatest Detective' but I can see that you are starving yourself. Why haven't you been eating? I didn't tell you to stop eating, did I? How dare you think you have the right to stop eating! Are you begging me for punishment? Do you really want to repeat what happened the other day?" Slade snarled, leering over the table at me. Forcing me to shrink back into the hard wood of the chair. I need to explain but how do I explain wanting control over something that I gave to him a long time ago; my life.

"I… I just…" I mumbled, I didn't really want to look at him so I studied my shoes.

They looked a lot like the shoes that I used to wear before but these shoes were tight and constricting, rubbing uncomfortably against my tied, saw feet. I knew when I took them off later my feet will be ravaged by saws and blisters.

"Stop mumbling, boy, and look at me when I'm talking to you," he snarled, now towering over me. He was so tall, even if I was standing I would only have come up to his chest, still having to look up into that one cold eye.

At that moment Wintergreen came in holding a plate of food, saving me from looking up and probably getting slapped across the face. He placed the plate in front of me.

It wasn't as if I was treated badly while I was there. The food was just as nice as the food I got when I lived in the manor. A large thick chunk of meat with an assortment of roasted vegetables. Slade didn't believe in vegetarianism

My stomach snarled viciously pleading for the food in front of me. If I was alone in the room I would have ignored my stomach and refused the food but I couldn't do that with my captor standing over me, testing me, begging me to refuse so that he could beat me, grind me into the dust so that I would only wake up tomorrow with my stomach still empty.

"Eat. It. Now." He commanded.

I silently loaded my fork with food and shoved it in my mouth, giving myself an excuse to not have to explain why I had starved myself for several days. I had failed. He still had utter control over me and I had none. I suddenly found it hard to swallow as a huge lump formed in my throat. He was the one with ultimate power over everything that he owned including me.

"Swallow it," he hissed through gritted teeth. I knew that I had pushed him too far and he was pissed but he would force me to relinquish all the hope I had of regaining power over my life. I swallowed thickly, making a loud gulping noise that echoed in the all but empty room. I could feel his eye on the top of my head but I didn't look up.

My stomach, now realising that it was being fed growled hungrily for more and soon I was shovelling food in, not even caring about chewing. By the time I had finish everything on my plate my eyes were hot with tears. They rolled down my cheeks silently and splashed wetly onto the empty plate.

I had lost.

"Now I would like you to tell me why you didn't eat yesterday or the day before." Slade began, leaning forward on his hands which were intertwined with one another, elbows resting on the table. He looked like he really wanted to listen to what I had to say.

"I… I don't have choses. I need control over my life, I need to do what I want; I don't have that power anymore. I thought if I didn't eat I would have the power over my own body. If I don't eat I'm choosing not to eat. I'm choosing to starve. But it didn't work. I don't have control over anything, not anymore." I whispered letting the tears roll down my cheeks in rivers, pouring uncontrollably. I must have looked so weak and childish but I couldn't help it, it was too much for me to bare. "I don't…I don't."

"Dick, stop." I did. I looked up wide eyed at Slade, still sitting in front of me in the same position, his voice was calm, neural, not like he had just told me that he knew my biggest secret, that he knew my name.

"How..?"

"I have known for a long time, almost from that very beginning. Why would I not do research on you before picking you as my apprentice? It was simply really. I was quite disappointed to discover that the infamous Gotham Knight of legend is the famous playboy Bruce Wayne." He was smiling. I could hear it in his voice and see it in his eye. He knew. He knew everything, he had absolute power. "He never ended up adopting you did he? _How disappointing_. I guess that means legally anyone can have you, doesn't it?"

The overwhelming hopelessness was replaced by fear. He could use anyone from Gotham as blackmail, it was no longer just the Teen Titans that were in danger but Alfred and Bruce and Barbara as well. I don't want any of them to get hurt. Slade had me over a barrel of acid, I could never win, not when he was the one holding all the cards.

"I think, since you have been a very bad boy the past few days you should be punished, you will lose a privilege that I have allowed you to have for long enough." My heart sank I knew what he was going to take away I wasn't ready, _he_ wasn't ready. _He_ was too weak, too emotional and although Robin could hold on Dick Grayson wouldn't last long.

"Please, Slade, don't," I pleaded. Although the mask was an evil-looking thing that scratched my face, it was a shield, protection for Dick Grayson who couldn't fight against a man like Slade.

"Dick, calm down, I know who you are. Don't forget, this is your own doing." Slade said leaning forward over the table to grab the corner of my mask to rip my shield away.

Scared of what would happen next I pulled my head out of his reach leaning backwards and up. This caused the chair I was sitting on to topple backwards. I landed on my back and twisted around to leap up in an instant. I ran for the door I was so close. I would run to the room and barricade myself inside.

"If you put one step outside that door the Titans will die, Dick."

I stopped inches away from the threshold and turned to face him. I was livid.

"Don't call me that, you have no right!" I snarled. Slade appeared in front of me and without warning he grabbed my chin forcing me to look up at him. I hated it when he did that, it made me feel so powerless.

"I have every right to do whatever I want with you, you gave up yourself to me, remember? You are the one who is not allowed to do a thing like starve yourself, less I allow you to as punishment. But this was your punishment Richard, you won't be getting this mask back unless I want you to go on a mission." He took the corner of the mask and pulled, peeling it from it from my eyes making my skin prickle with the sudden exposer to the cold air. One lonely tear fall down the trail on my cheek.

"Why did you say my name then and not some other time? Why now?" I whimpered, looking him in the eye, for the first time he looked into mine and his eye glowed with triumph

"Because it stopped you from crying like a child and I'm not fond of children crying," he stated simply. It sounded like a cruel thing to say but I could hear laughter emanating from the kitchen. What did the old man find so amusing about Slade's cruel intolerance of children? I didn't want to know. I had lost my shield and I wasn't prepare for it.

Wintergreen had all but promised that I wouldn't get punished if I ate, if I forfeited the battle, but I was stripped of protection.

An animalistic growl ripped through my throat as I tugged my chin out of his hand but it was stopped with a slap that snapped my head to the side. I lifted my hand to sooth my red cheek but it was wrenched away and clamped to my side by an iron grip.

"You're acting like a child. Stop before you get hurt more than you already are. You deliberately disobeyed me and I will not have disobedience. Not now, not ever. Listen to me when I'm talking to you!" he snapped as he grabbed my chin again, now holding it tight enough to leave harsh purple bruises along my jawline.

Will stepped forward at that moment to stand next to Slade. He didn't look worried, he looked like he was decide whose side to be on, glancing from Slade's cold glare to my pleading fear filled eyes.

"Slade, stop. He knows what he's done, don't scare him anymore that you alright have or he will never trust you. You've just taken away his safety net, don't let him fall." The elderly man muttered into Slade's ear. I could hear the stressed urgency in his voice, putting a hand on the masked man's shoulder.

Slade growled something I didn't understand about someone named Grant and dropped me. My neck ached from being stretched upwards for too long. I rubbed it, glaring at Slade silently. Then I realised what Wintergreen had said _safety net_ and _fall_ , they knew about his past, they both knew and Wintergreen had never told him, had never even hinted at the fact that the man knew anything about who he was or who his family was. I wiped my eyes roughly not wanting them to see the silent tears that fell for the loss of my parent.

"May I go back to my room now please?"

"No. I'm not done with you yet," Slade snapped. "What would your parents think if they saw you now? Would they be proud of the way your acting?"

"Shut up! Don't talk about them, you don't even know them! You don't know anything!" I screamed. Slade slapped me again harder than before making me fall to the ground holding my bruised cheek.

"Know your place. Show me disrespect again and I will destroy the Titans and their stupid tower."

"Slade don't patronise him, he has already been though a lot tonight," Wintergreen warned trying to step between the two.

"Wintergreen? You knew? And you didn't tell me?" I asked, my voice hitching a little. How could he know and not have told me? He had asked me what my favourite colour was for crying out loud. He had the nerve to try and be nice but it was all a lie, they had both been lying too me since the beginning and the old man didn't even look apologetic.

"Show Will respect, its Mr Wintergreen to you," Slade growled.

"Slade, if I think he is being disrespectful I will tell him. I can handle it, don't think I can't," Wintergreen huffed turning to me. It wasn't pity or sympathy but a mixture of empathy and frustration. "Yes, I knew you were Wayne's circus kid who was all over the news a few years ago. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Slade ordered me not to."

I was silent, disgusted that he would see me as _Wayne's circus kid_ ; a billionaire's charity case. I wasn't Bruce's charity case I was his son and I still am, no matter how much we disagreed. I hated Wintergreen at that moment. How dare he come to the conclusion that I wasn't loved? Was he attempting to manipulate me to hate Batman and the Titans? It won't work, they care about me and their trying to find me at this very moment.

"Do you always do what Slade tells you to?" I asked, glaring over at him. The question earned me another slap from who I thought would be Slade but when I looked forward I saw that Slade hadn't moved. It was Wintergreen who had stepped forward, his hand still outstretched as if he meant to hit me again. He looked livid.

"Don't you dare think I am nothing more than another one of his robots, boy. You have no idea what you're talking about. I may be older than Slade but I am no less dangerous, don't test me, you _will_ regret it." The man snarled under his breath twisting his hand into my top, pulling me closer. "It may surprise you but Slade cooked your meal as he has done almost every night since you first came here. I am not the cook nor the maid nor the butler, I am here to help because I am his friend. You may think the different between you and him is that you are constantly surrounded by friends you trust, well you're wrong. Even the morally unstable have close trusted friends." By the end of his speech Wintergreen was almost out of breath and I was slightly backed up in shock. I had never seen such an emotional outburst from the man. It was unexpected.

I was shocked, frozen to the spot internally gagging at the idea that I had been eating the food that slade had made. The only reason I had eaten any food at all was the fact that I could trust Wintergreen not to poison me. No wonder he was pissed. The idea that I had insulted Slade's cooking made me want to laugh but I could sense that would earn me another slap and my face really couldn't take this much abuse.

"I'm really sorry Wintergreen, I didn't mean it like that; I really didn't. I swear!"

I stepped away from the wall planning to edge around the two men. I just wanted to leave. Slade seemed not to have heard Wintergreen's outburst or had heard it so often that it didn't surprise him. I didn't like the fact that they knew everything about me yet I didn't even know what Slade's real face looked like let alone his name or his past. That's why is surprised me that Wintergreen was so protective, I didn't know what their relationship was or how they came to be friends in the first place. I was at a horrifying disadvantage.

"You are forgiven, Richard," Wintergreen sighed, sounding tied after the exertion he had experienced before.

"May I leave now Slade?"

"No." _Well shit._

What was he going to do now, lecture me? Beat me? He had already done more than that. Anytime either one of the men said my name I flinched back like I was being slapped again. I hated them calling me Richard and I was only called Dick by my closest friends and family.

"Slade, let him go, he's been punished tonight." Wintergreen sighed, putting his hand on Slade's shoulder.

"Fine, get out of my sight," Slade commanded sharply, turning to face me.

Before he had a chance to change his mind I scuttled to the door wrenched it open and ran down the hallway to my cell with a false sense of security, but the dread with still weighing me down.

I just wanted to be home, it the curtain safety of my friends.

 _You are home, Dick._ He would say.


End file.
